Success means dying

"What does success at home look like?  When the husband does every day for his wife and kids and the wife does the same."

Oh how I want to be successful at home!  The quote above came from a Focus on the Family podcast and at just the right time for me.

Some things success at home is NOT:

-a clean house

-a beautiful house

-perfectly well-mannered children

-a trendy wardrobe

-the appearance if having it "all together"

-daily exercise

I could go on...and not that some of these things might be RESULTS of success at home, but when my priorities get out of whack, the results are catastrophic.

Seems like every time I try to "do right" or change, my own self gets in the way. I do the things I don't want to do and I don't do the things I do want to do! (See Romans 7). To paraphrase Paul:  "Who will save me from my own crazy cycle?!  Thanks be to God for stepping in and giving me a way out!"

Killing myself every day might seem like an impossible task. And it is. But with God all things are possible (Matt. 19:26).  

Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?” The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. (1 Corinthians 15:55-57 NIV)

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. (Philippians 2:3, 4 ESV)

Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:2 ESV)

Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. (Matthew 16:24 ESV)

Jealous God

When your calling isn't glamorous;
expectations slashed to shreds.
The life you'd dreamt of so far gone;
you were sure it was His plan.

Your desire had been to serve Him
and give your life to His cause--
as long as what He asked of you fit inside four painted walls.

Maybe something high-profile, with lots of people to see
how good and wise and talented through Christ you'd grown to be.

Or a church leader to stand in front of crowds each week;
surely God desired your good deed always be seen.

Good intentions marked your path, you really thought you knew.
But He knew you better than you knew yourself;
He wanted your whole heart and mind; He'd paid for all of you.

The price you paid was dying to self and, yes, when sin dies it stings.
But oh how much more He had hurt when He paid for you on a tree.

His love would not allow my dreams to become my idol, my god;
I am His, bought for a price; He will not share the throne.

The slippery slope

The thing that hurts the most is the failing despite trying with all your might;

the final judgement of "your best efforts fall short."

Drowning under the weight of the realization that you could spend your life striving to rid yourself of sin and still be swimming in a bottomless pit of depravity; that you knew you couldn't tread water on your own, but somehow you ended up claiming self-sufficiency again. 

It's a slippery slope to the middle of the pool, where you toil with all your might and only wear yourself out further.

Then I lifted my eyes to see the Rescuer. He was there to lift me out and set my feet on solid ground. 

He alone had swam the waters; He did the work and was victorious.  

The work of saving is His to do; ours to say "yes, I need you." 

Then the freedom of being free, to live and move and have our being. No longer striving nonstop to stay alive, we're sealed, having been bought for a price.  

The weight of sin we no longer bear, only a glorious weight to prepare.

The Parent who never gets tired

My son has some issues. They are not severe or even mentionable if you consider the spectrum of things that other parents live with in their children, but they are issues nonetheless.  And I've grown tired of the battle.  In the moment when I feel like despairing, I hear the echo of clinging truth whispered to my soul:
My Father doesn't get tired of my issues; He doesn't get annoyed when I fail in the same way for the hundredth time; He isn't rolling His eyes when I call His name from the other room; He doesn't wish for a moment's peace from my problems that interrupt His schedule.
He loves.  He entreats. He bears with me and forgives. He endures my short comings.  He runs to me and celebrates my victories, never harping on my failures or allowing them to make me less desirable in His eyes.
When I consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful man for my sake (Heb. 12:3), He gives me motivation and strength to keep going with my children, to keep trying to do good without growing weary.  My struggles begin to feel light and momentary (2 Cor. 4:17-18).  The eternal weight of glory becomes fixed in my eyes and the reality of my Prize comes bearing down on my heart and I am suddenly lifted.  My own strength and motivation to do good fail so fast, but God is strength of my heart and my portion forever (Ps. 73:26).

Enough

Enough

What if your life is an illustration?
Beginning to end, a picture for the rest of the world,
To see the light of God, his truth, his love.
Would it be enough?
He WILL fulfill his purpose, the glory of His name,
Would you be willing to sacrifice your fame?
To never see the end, the culmination of your work,
To lay it on the altar, slay the dreams you've had since birth.
Would it be enough?
If He allowed your wife, your kids, your home, to flee or die or burn;
And the only thing left to you was the solace of His Word.
Would it be enough?
If the kingdom is your treasure, your all, and your prize,
the answer then is yes, He has removed the scales from your eyes.
If the answer is a no, then what WOULD be enough?
Do you only love God when He keeps you healthy, wealthy, and wise?
If He made you, then He'll do with you as He decides, even if it seems unfair on this side.
He loves you ENOUGH to strip away the false idols you hold so dear;
Most of the time, through pain and tears, you will see the Kingdom come near.

Though He slay me

In your blessing there is pain
Everything is torn away.
Unveiling the savage beast within,
Shameful, dark, hideous in frame.
Make and mold, form and cast
That old heart has beat its last.
In its place, a new creature
Birthed by grace and glorious in nature.
Perfection not to be gained now
But holding tight to Him I vow:
Here I'll live and die and break
this hold the beast will not forsake
Without a fight for life and soul;
Wage the war, take not a rest,
the Prize is coming in but a breathe.

Knowing our place

Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the good God brings to me. Thoughts like, "Of all people, I don't deserve such blessings" and "I shouldn't be the one allowed to lead His people" start to creep in.  Though I think being humbled by God's goodness is a very healthy thing, shame is not!  

For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.” (Romans 10:11 ESV)

Though there is nothing righteous about me, when I trust Jesus as my treasure, all his righteousness becomes my own; all his blessings my sustenance; all his promises my hope.  Yes, I deserve to feel shame.  But Jesus doesn't...and we are His and, through God's adoption of us as sons and daughters, we are heirs to the promise!

"So let no one boast in men. For all things are yours, whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or the present or the future—all are yours, and you are Christ’s, and Christ is God’s." (1 Corinthians 3:21-23 ESV)

We are His and He is God's and everything belongs to God so everything belongs to us. There is a confidence that cannot be shaken for God's children. It doesn't rest in how much ministry I do or how good I perform today or how little I manage to mess up from one day to the next...it rests in Jesus.  Alone.  His work.  His character.  To cling to Him as my only hope for salvation is to know Him as my treasure for how can I not value supremely what I KNOW to be the only good thing I have?!  

The gift of God is to bring about this knowledge in the hearts and minds of His children, no matter what it takes.

I will fight to find joy today in the truth that I am not shamed because I wear the pure and blameless white garments of Christ.  

"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (Romans 8:1 ESV)