The Parent who never gets tired

My son has some issues. They are not severe or even mentionable if you consider the spectrum of things that other parents live with in their children, but they are issues nonetheless.  And I've grown tired of the battle.  In the moment when I feel like despairing, I hear the echo of clinging truth whispered to my soul:
My Father doesn't get tired of my issues; He doesn't get annoyed when I fail in the same way for the hundredth time; He isn't rolling His eyes when I call His name from the other room; He doesn't wish for a moment's peace from my problems that interrupt His schedule.
He loves.  He entreats. He bears with me and forgives. He endures my short comings.  He runs to me and celebrates my victories, never harping on my failures or allowing them to make me less desirable in His eyes.
When I consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful man for my sake (Heb. 12:3), He gives me motivation and strength to keep going with my children, to keep trying to do good without growing weary.  My struggles begin to feel light and momentary (2 Cor. 4:17-18).  The eternal weight of glory becomes fixed in my eyes and the reality of my Prize comes bearing down on my heart and I am suddenly lifted.  My own strength and motivation to do good fail so fast, but God is strength of my heart and my portion forever (Ps. 73:26).

Enough

Enough

What if your life is an illustration?
Beginning to end, a picture for the rest of the world,
To see the light of God, his truth, his love.
Would it be enough?
He WILL fulfill his purpose, the glory of His name,
Would you be willing to sacrifice your fame?
To never see the end, the culmination of your work,
To lay it on the altar, slay the dreams you've had since birth.
Would it be enough?
If He allowed your wife, your kids, your home, to flee or die or burn;
And the only thing left to you was the solace of His Word.
Would it be enough?
If the kingdom is your treasure, your all, and your prize,
the answer then is yes, He has removed the scales from your eyes.
If the answer is a no, then what WOULD be enough?
Do you only love God when He keeps you healthy, wealthy, and wise?
If He made you, then He'll do with you as He decides, even if it seems unfair on this side.
He loves you ENOUGH to strip away the false idols you hold so dear;
Most of the time, through pain and tears, you will see the Kingdom come near.

Though He slay me

In your blessing there is pain
Everything is torn away.
Unveiling the savage beast within,
Shameful, dark, hideous in frame.
Make and mold, form and cast
That old heart has beat its last.
In its place, a new creature
Birthed by grace and glorious in nature.
Perfection not to be gained now
But holding tight to Him I vow:
Here I'll live and die and break
this hold the beast will not forsake
Without a fight for life and soul;
Wage the war, take not a rest,
the Prize is coming in but a breathe.

Knowing our place

Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the good God brings to me. Thoughts like, "Of all people, I don't deserve such blessings" and "I shouldn't be the one allowed to lead His people" start to creep in.  Though I think being humbled by God's goodness is a very healthy thing, shame is not!  

For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.” (Romans 10:11 ESV)

Though there is nothing righteous about me, when I trust Jesus as my treasure, all his righteousness becomes my own; all his blessings my sustenance; all his promises my hope.  Yes, I deserve to feel shame.  But Jesus doesn't...and we are His and, through God's adoption of us as sons and daughters, we are heirs to the promise!

"So let no one boast in men. For all things are yours, whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or the present or the future—all are yours, and you are Christ’s, and Christ is God’s." (1 Corinthians 3:21-23 ESV)

We are His and He is God's and everything belongs to God so everything belongs to us. There is a confidence that cannot be shaken for God's children. It doesn't rest in how much ministry I do or how good I perform today or how little I manage to mess up from one day to the next...it rests in Jesus.  Alone.  His work.  His character.  To cling to Him as my only hope for salvation is to know Him as my treasure for how can I not value supremely what I KNOW to be the only good thing I have?!  

The gift of God is to bring about this knowledge in the hearts and minds of His children, no matter what it takes.

I will fight to find joy today in the truth that I am not shamed because I wear the pure and blameless white garments of Christ.  

"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (Romans 8:1 ESV)

Peace on earth?

“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!” (Luke 2:14 ESV)

Despite what seems to be the popular saying, the Christmas message is not "peace on earth"...at least not peace for everyone.  Sweet baby Jesus did not come to bring peace to the world but only to those "with whom He is pleased."  From the moment of Jesus's arrival, He seemed to bring nothing but trouble for those close to Him.  As an adult, He even said, “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. (Matthew 10:34 ESV)

The peace of God is not external (at least for now). It is internal.  This means that despite any circumstance, Jesus came to bring peace to the hearts of those who trust Him (John 14:27).  So then if I am lacking peace, the question must be asked, "Am I currently pleasing God?"  How does one please God?  Not by trying harder.  Not by doing the right things or even by doing ministry.  

The only way to please God is by brokenness and repentance; becoming weak and seeing my helplessness to do anything "right" before Him.      

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." (Psalm 51:17 ESV)

Peace on earth is a deceptive saying.  Do not think that once you are a follower of Jesus, He will magically make your circumstances easier or better or safer.  The opposite is true most of the time. 

The miracle occurs when, despite opposition, chaos, pain, sickness, desperation, or sorrow, Jesus puts His peace inside your heart.  When they see our sufferings and know how weak we are but are able to see His peace shining through, this is how we can say, "Glory to God in the highest!"

Thanksgiving reflections: A quest for quiet

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."  Matthew 11:28-30

Rest.  The very second after I typed it, I had to bolt up out of my desk chair and run to help my 3 and 1/2 year old boy with a potty emergency, one of about 300 he's had over the past few days.  Constant running...up and down...start and stop...emotionally draining...physically exhausting...soul depleting...work.

I'm tired.  That's all there is to it.  I find that being tired is a never-ending theme of my life (ask anyone I'm close to and they'll verify I'm sure).  It has been since I was a teenager (even though, I will say, that becoming a mommy has raised my tiredness levels exponentially!).  No matter where I turn, what vitamin regimen I begin, what change in job I attempt, what bedtime routine I try out with the kids,  I can't find that promised rest that Jesus speaks of in Matthew 11.  Every time it seems like I'm sort of "caught up," it's time to get geared up and start all over again.  It's elusive, like the finish line to a never-ending race.  I know it's out there somewhere but I feel like I'll never be able to get to it.

I have longed for heaven, our ultimate rest.  I have thought that if I can just make it there, persevere, fight the good fight, I can put up with being tired while here on earth since I have hope of rest to come.  I still have that hope but I have found that it's not enough.  Eventually I gave up and checked out.  The wait was too long, the going too tough, the fight too hard.

Then He came.

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden...You will find rest for your souls."  Is Jesus talking about rest from physical labor?  I don't think so.  Because He doesn't say, "You will find rest for your bodies."  He's talking about soul work--that endless hunt for rest; the quest for quiet.

It's not a profound discovery except that it was profound to me.  Something finally clicked.  Was Paul physically rested?  Obviously not.  Did he have peace in his soul?  Obviously yes.  There is a rest to be found HERE and NOW, in this moment, that has nothing to do with physical rest (though I do believe soul-rest trickles down to our physical bodies).  It is the person of Jesus.  Knowing Him gives my soul the rest is so desperately desires.

His gentle, lowly spirit is imparted to me when I come to Him for rest.  His attitude about life makes life EASIER.  His single-minded motivation transforms my heaviness into a LIGHT load.

Yes, Jesus came to save my soul and give me hope of eternal rest in heaven.  But He came for more than that...for light, easy, joyful, abundant life NOW!

The rubber meets the road when I allow the lies that Satan throws out there to infiltrate my moment-to-moment choices.  It's a fight to cling to the truth at times, but the fight IS the light load...the alternative choice (giving in to the lie) is the impossible road...the broad path...the way to destruction.  It may FEEL easier at the moment, but in the end the lie is always, without fail, every time the heavy, most difficult way.

So I will fight to remember in the up and down, stop and go, crazy everyday life that I lead:
Jesus's way is EASY, not hard.
Jesus's burden is LIGHT, not heavy.
Jesus offers my soul rest despite my physical circumstances.
Jesus's yoke (his teachings) are the way to rest.  If they start to feel heavy, then I'm doing something wrong.

"He makes me lie down in green pastures.  He leads me beside still waters.  He restores my soul."  Ps. 23:2-3

Weak fools

"But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong." (1 Corinthians 1:27 ESV)

Chosen by God=weak fool.  Coming to that realization has been quite a painful struggle for me but now that I'm here(or more here than I used to be I guess)...big sigh of relief!  There is such freedom in getting strength and wisdom not from ME but from God alone.  Also, I'm not surprised anymore when I fail...which is often. After all, I'm a weak fool, what else should I expect but failure when I try to accomplish, work, plan, worship, play, live on my own without the strength and wisdom that God provides through His Word and His Holy Spirit.  For me, it has been through and in my failures that I've experienced God's loving presence rather than in my successes.  The Word tells us over and over that God desires us to be broken ("The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." (Psalm 51:17 ESV)).  Not that He wants us to dig our heels in and get comfortable with the pain but He wants to continually do surgery on our broken hearts and set our broken bones straight.  And it is in these moments of sometimes intense, sharp pain when my Father draws me to Himself, wraps my wounds, and reminds me that my eternal healing has already been bought through His own Son's wounds.  

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." (Psalm 147:3 ESV)

"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18 ESV)

"and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed." (Hebrews 12:13 ESV)