Knowing our place

Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the good God brings to me. Thoughts like, "Of all people, I don't deserve such blessings" and "I shouldn't be the one allowed to lead His people" start to creep in.  Though I think being humbled by God's goodness is a very healthy thing, shame is not!  

For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.” (Romans 10:11 ESV)

Though there is nothing righteous about me, when I trust Jesus as my treasure, all his righteousness becomes my own; all his blessings my sustenance; all his promises my hope.  Yes, I deserve to feel shame.  But Jesus doesn't...and we are His and, through God's adoption of us as sons and daughters, we are heirs to the promise!

"So let no one boast in men. For all things are yours, whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or the present or the future—all are yours, and you are Christ’s, and Christ is God’s." (1 Corinthians 3:21-23 ESV)

We are His and He is God's and everything belongs to God so everything belongs to us. There is a confidence that cannot be shaken for God's children. It doesn't rest in how much ministry I do or how good I perform today or how little I manage to mess up from one day to the next...it rests in Jesus.  Alone.  His work.  His character.  To cling to Him as my only hope for salvation is to know Him as my treasure for how can I not value supremely what I KNOW to be the only good thing I have?!  

The gift of God is to bring about this knowledge in the hearts and minds of His children, no matter what it takes.

I will fight to find joy today in the truth that I am not shamed because I wear the pure and blameless white garments of Christ.  

"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (Romans 8:1 ESV)

Peace on earth?

“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!” (Luke 2:14 ESV)

Despite what seems to be the popular saying, the Christmas message is not "peace on earth"...at least not peace for everyone.  Sweet baby Jesus did not come to bring peace to the world but only to those "with whom He is pleased."  From the moment of Jesus's arrival, He seemed to bring nothing but trouble for those close to Him.  As an adult, He even said, “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. (Matthew 10:34 ESV)

The peace of God is not external (at least for now). It is internal.  This means that despite any circumstance, Jesus came to bring peace to the hearts of those who trust Him (John 14:27).  So then if I am lacking peace, the question must be asked, "Am I currently pleasing God?"  How does one please God?  Not by trying harder.  Not by doing the right things or even by doing ministry.  

The only way to please God is by brokenness and repentance; becoming weak and seeing my helplessness to do anything "right" before Him.      

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." (Psalm 51:17 ESV)

Peace on earth is a deceptive saying.  Do not think that once you are a follower of Jesus, He will magically make your circumstances easier or better or safer.  The opposite is true most of the time. 

The miracle occurs when, despite opposition, chaos, pain, sickness, desperation, or sorrow, Jesus puts His peace inside your heart.  When they see our sufferings and know how weak we are but are able to see His peace shining through, this is how we can say, "Glory to God in the highest!"

Thanksgiving reflections: A quest for quiet

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."  Matthew 11:28-30

Rest.  The very second after I typed it, I had to bolt up out of my desk chair and run to help my 3 and 1/2 year old boy with a potty emergency, one of about 300 he's had over the past few days.  Constant running...up and down...start and stop...emotionally draining...physically exhausting...soul depleting...work.

I'm tired.  That's all there is to it.  I find that being tired is a never-ending theme of my life (ask anyone I'm close to and they'll verify I'm sure).  It has been since I was a teenager (even though, I will say, that becoming a mommy has raised my tiredness levels exponentially!).  No matter where I turn, what vitamin regimen I begin, what change in job I attempt, what bedtime routine I try out with the kids,  I can't find that promised rest that Jesus speaks of in Matthew 11.  Every time it seems like I'm sort of "caught up," it's time to get geared up and start all over again.  It's elusive, like the finish line to a never-ending race.  I know it's out there somewhere but I feel like I'll never be able to get to it.

I have longed for heaven, our ultimate rest.  I have thought that if I can just make it there, persevere, fight the good fight, I can put up with being tired while here on earth since I have hope of rest to come.  I still have that hope but I have found that it's not enough.  Eventually I gave up and checked out.  The wait was too long, the going too tough, the fight too hard.

Then He came.

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden...You will find rest for your souls."  Is Jesus talking about rest from physical labor?  I don't think so.  Because He doesn't say, "You will find rest for your bodies."  He's talking about soul work--that endless hunt for rest; the quest for quiet.

It's not a profound discovery except that it was profound to me.  Something finally clicked.  Was Paul physically rested?  Obviously not.  Did he have peace in his soul?  Obviously yes.  There is a rest to be found HERE and NOW, in this moment, that has nothing to do with physical rest (though I do believe soul-rest trickles down to our physical bodies).  It is the person of Jesus.  Knowing Him gives my soul the rest is so desperately desires.

His gentle, lowly spirit is imparted to me when I come to Him for rest.  His attitude about life makes life EASIER.  His single-minded motivation transforms my heaviness into a LIGHT load.

Yes, Jesus came to save my soul and give me hope of eternal rest in heaven.  But He came for more than that...for light, easy, joyful, abundant life NOW!

The rubber meets the road when I allow the lies that Satan throws out there to infiltrate my moment-to-moment choices.  It's a fight to cling to the truth at times, but the fight IS the light load...the alternative choice (giving in to the lie) is the impossible road...the broad path...the way to destruction.  It may FEEL easier at the moment, but in the end the lie is always, without fail, every time the heavy, most difficult way.

So I will fight to remember in the up and down, stop and go, crazy everyday life that I lead:
Jesus's way is EASY, not hard.
Jesus's burden is LIGHT, not heavy.
Jesus offers my soul rest despite my physical circumstances.
Jesus's yoke (his teachings) are the way to rest.  If they start to feel heavy, then I'm doing something wrong.

"He makes me lie down in green pastures.  He leads me beside still waters.  He restores my soul."  Ps. 23:2-3

Weak fools

"But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong." (1 Corinthians 1:27 ESV)

Chosen by God=weak fool.  Coming to that realization has been quite a painful struggle for me but now that I'm here(or more here than I used to be I guess)...big sigh of relief!  There is such freedom in getting strength and wisdom not from ME but from God alone.  Also, I'm not surprised anymore when I fail...which is often. After all, I'm a weak fool, what else should I expect but failure when I try to accomplish, work, plan, worship, play, live on my own without the strength and wisdom that God provides through His Word and His Holy Spirit.  For me, it has been through and in my failures that I've experienced God's loving presence rather than in my successes.  The Word tells us over and over that God desires us to be broken ("The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." (Psalm 51:17 ESV)).  Not that He wants us to dig our heels in and get comfortable with the pain but He wants to continually do surgery on our broken hearts and set our broken bones straight.  And it is in these moments of sometimes intense, sharp pain when my Father draws me to Himself, wraps my wounds, and reminds me that my eternal healing has already been bought through His own Son's wounds.  

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." (Psalm 147:3 ESV)

"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18 ESV)

"and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed." (Hebrews 12:13 ESV)

Thorns hurt

"So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Corinthians 12:7-10 ESV)

It's sometimes very painful the things that God allows in our lives to cause us to more fully understand that we are nothing good on our own and to more completely depend on Him.  I don't understand why He uses pain to lead us to Himself but I do know that Jesus himself suffered agony to become fully mature (Heb. 2:10).  In all truth, the most unloving thing He could do for me is to leave me like I am:  stuck in pride, sin, and rebellion.  He knows that HE is the best thing for me:  the Way, the Truth, and the Life.  Unfortunately, I'd never leave my pride, sin, and rebellion behind on my own volition.  I am too comfortable here, too prone to wander, too caught in vicious cycles of suicidal desires.  I am an addict; addicted to glorifying myself above all else...the Bible calls this my sinful nature.  Therefore, without a very strong motivating force to drive me to change, I'd stay here, so comfortable in my worship of myself.  What is the initial motivating force behind change?  Pain.  Avoidance of it and desire to never experience it again.  Now I don't believe I can continue on in true, mature faith if desire to avoid pain is my lasting motivation for following God; but I do believe it's important to remember the pain from time to time. Remember what it felt like to try it my way instead of God's way; remember how long it took to crawl my way out of the pit; remember that sin seems good but, in reality, it's impossible to find peace when apart of God; remember that God's way is not easy but the alternative is impossible.  

I am sometimes angry when God allows pain to come my way. I wonder when I will be perfected (matured) enough to stop doubting His goodness in the midst of pain and joyfully accept that it's a sign of His loving discipline that He still hasn't given up on me. He is still trying to break through to me and draw me closer to His side. I can't wait til that faith becomes instinct for me. For now it is work and it is hard. But the burden lifts and the load is lightened when I take my eyes off of the pain (aka, wallow in self pity) and fix them on Jesus, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Let us consider Him who endured such painful opposition from sinful man and not grow weary or lose heart (Heb. 12:2-3). 

You do!

This morning in the car, like so many mornings, I said, "I love you, Caleb.  I love you very much."  But today his reply jarred me:  he said to me, "You do!"  As soon as the words left his mouth, I "heard" the Spirit preach a sermon to my soul...words of life came flooding into my mind in an instant.  What struck me as remarkable was that it would assure my son to affirm MY expression of love towards him, NOT to not return my expression with his own "I love you too."  His little 3 year old heart,  by default, feels more at peace in the rock-solid confidence that his mommy loves him than in his own love towards me.  Is that not how children find security in their relationship with their parents?  The unwavering confidence in our parents sacrificial, giving, selfless love towards us produces the foundation necessary for us to go forth in the world and thrive. Without the assurance that our parents would do anything in this world to ensure our health and success, we become paralyzed with fear, insecurity, anxiety, doubts...the list could go on and on.
How much more does our confidence need to rest in our Heavenly Father's love for us?!  To know the depths to which He went to ensure our eternal health and success will, without a doubt, enable us to go forth in this world (not to mention the next) and thrive.  To the extent I believe with all my heart, mind, and soul that Jesus loves me enough to have already provided EVERYTHING I need for an abundant life both here and eternally, that is the extent to which I will be able to live without fear, doubt, anxiety, depression, angst; taking risks, loving without limits, being available to go and do and work and produce.  My limits are determined by my lack of faith. To believe He loves more than enough to be my True Parent is my life's call. And when I hear His gentle, "I love you, child. I love you very much," to assuredly and humbly reply, "You do!"

"How precious is your steadfast love, O God! The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings." (Psalm 36:7 ESV)

To the dads

Today is Father's Day and I'm thinking about the dads in my life this morning:  my own dad, Bryan Russell, my husband who is a wonderful dad to our kids, my father-in-law, Phillip Sheppard, and my grandfather, Bud Arnold.  

I knew my Dad loved me from the time I was born.  I've always known it and never doubted it.  But now that I have my own kids, I realize even more how amazingly natural and easy it is for Dads to love their own kids and how one word seems to encapsulate what it is to be a loving Father:  SACRIFICE.  Dads who love their kids willingly SACRIFICE their own selves for their kids' sakes. This doesn't mean that the sacrifices dads make are easy, but that they will sacrifice for their kids when they would never make the same sacrifice for anyone else. This also doesn't mean that all dads naturally and easily and sacrificially love their children, but that this is how it should be and how it is when things are "right."

For some people, it may be more difficult to really know and feel this concept, those who are not blessed to have an earthly father who has willingly sacrificed and shown love even when it was, perhaps, a strain: it may be more difficult for some to actively believe and accept that this is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God (1 John 3:1). In fact, it may be a stretch to grasp that this is how we KNOW that we are His children, that He already proved His own love for us by sending His only Son.

The hope I have today and forever comes from a Father who is not strained or burdened or annoyed or bothered or required to show me lavish love but, rather, he delights to pour His love out on me!

It is a WILLING love.
"In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins." (1 John 4:10 ESV)

It is a GENEROUS love.
"He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?" (Romans 8:32 ESV)

It is a NON-RELUCTANT love.
"What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31 ESV)

So we know that God sending His own Son is how we FEEL loved by God. When we believe this and let this understanding penetrate to the depths of our hearts, leaking into every nook and crevice, this love totally transforms us leading to a joyful, child-like acceptance(faith) of this most precious gift we could ever receive(grace).

This is why I am most grateful for the Dads in my life today. I am thankful that they are image-bearers of the only perfect Father, passing on His love from one generation to the next. I am thankful that they have pointed me and my kids, both through their strength and weaknesses, to the True Source of fatherly love. I am thankful that they know Him and are looking to Him for guidance.

Thank you, Dads. The most precious gift you could ever give me has been received joyfully in my heart...there are two more at my house who need you, though:) Keep on keeping on, we are counting on you and are here to support and encourage you along the way!

I take myself with a grain of salt

I think back to who I was 10 years ago, 5 years ago, 1 year ago, 1 month ago...and I think how grateful I am that God did what it took to change me from the self-absorbed, egotistical, legalistic, cold-hearted person I once was! But then, wait a minute...10 years from now, I'll be thinking how grateful I am that He changed me from who I am TODAY into who I will be THEN.

And so I remember again: I will never "arrive."

I will, at some point and by God's grace, be embarrassed of how selfish and wordly and utterly unChristlike I am today, thought I know in my heart I'm worlds away from where I once was. It occurs to me that today, though I feel more "holy" than I ever have in my life, I still have sin in me, apart from the sins that I know of, that I can't even understand or even contemplate now; but since one day, I will look back and be able to see my own lack of maturity at this current point in time, I trust that a lack of maturity is here in me now, abiding deep in my heart, mind, and soul, seemingly hidden and waiting for the fullness of time til the Holy Spirit will penetrate, uproot, and replant His beauty within.

I take myself with a grain of salt.

I may feel spiritually mature but my perspective is limited to my own existence. I felt mature 10 years ago and now I realize I was so far from it that it is laughable. I may be further along than I've ever been before but I'm a very weak and ineffective standard to be measuring myself against.

Perhaps a sign of true maturity in Christ is knowing that I, by myself, lack what is needed for life and godliness on my own--no matter how much knowledge, no matter the amount of volunteer hours logged, no matter how many Bible study books are lining the shelf--but that it is His divine power that grants me everything (1 Peter 1:3). I was incapable as an 18 year old to see the immaturity in myself and will myself to change on my own. I might have seen some "big" issues, but I had no idea of the depths to which God would change my heart and mind! I was blind. And it is impossible for a blind man to heal himself: he must have someone open his eyes. I think that is what maturity in Christ means: God opening your eyes to more fully see Him so that, in turn, you may more fully see yourself in Him. Praise Him that the scales continue to be, sometimes rather painfully, ripped from these feeble eyes!

I think of Eustace in "Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader." He was turned into a hideous dragon because of the arrogance of his heart. The only way to be turned into a boy again was to have his scaled scraped off by Aslan's claws. And when he was changed back into a boy, he was not the same boy he once was! He was a new creation, someone altogether different than he was before his painful, scale-ripping experience.

I pray that the people I knew 10 years ago give me grace now to believe I really have been changed. I'm not the same as I was 10 years ago, 1 year ago, 1 month ago, 1 day ago. I pray I give other people grace to believe people really can be changed; to not judge someone based on who they used to be, but by who they prove to be and, perhaps even more fully, by who God will one day make them to be.

"It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no 'ordinary' people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilisations -- these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whome we joke with, work with, marry, snub and exploit -- immortal horrors or everlasting splendours. This does not mean that we are to be perpetually solemn. We must play. But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously -- no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption. And our charity must be a real and costly love, with deep feeling for the sins in spite of which we love the sinner -- no mere tolerance or indulgence which parodies love as flippancy parodies merriment."
--C. S. Lewis, From The Weight of Glory.

Give me Jesus

As far as I know, my 5 year old daughter, Elli, has never been taught about the second coming of Jesus. But last night in her bedtime prayers, she prayed, "And Jesus, please come down so we can meet you."

Her sweet, childlike, pure faith brought me to tears. She longs to see Jesus in the flesh and knows in her heart instinctively that something isn't all the way perfect yet. There is a lacking and her heart wants the fulfillment. Even without having studied the doctrine of the second coming, she yearns for it!

God, grant me an expectant heart, eyes that are always watching for you, feet ready to go at a moment's notice. Help me to be tethered to heaven and not this soil.

"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." (Colossians 3:1-4 NIV)

A Word for Workers

As VBS week approaches, I have been thinking more about the WORK of the Christian life. Sometimes it can feel tedious and even, at times, like we're spinning our wheels in vain. But God gently reminded me today that our MOTIVATION is what makes the difference between legalistic, duty-based efforts versus grace-soaked, heartfelt service.

"I tell you this, brothers: flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed. For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality. When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written: "Death is swallowed up in victory." "O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?" The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. THEREFORE(my emphasis), my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain." (1 Corinthians 15:50-58 ESV)

Notice the "therefore." Why do we work? Why is it that our labor is not in vain?

Because of the victory that Jesus has given us over death!
Because our sins cannot curse us to hell anymore.
Because death was swallowed up by His death.
Because death has lost it's venom to poison our souls.
Because the law is powerless to condemn us through Jesus.
Because we will receive knew everlasting, never-decaying bodies.
Because in Christ we will inherit the kingdom.
Because He loved us enough to give us this good news.
Because other people need this good news just like we did.
Because we have every reason in the world to work til He comes back.

Stay motivated, fellow workers! In the midst of the planning, decorating, shopping, singing, jumping, shouting, corralling, and, yes, even going a little crazy at times, make time to stay in the Word and remember the "why" behind your work. It is not in vain. You are appreciated. You are loved more than you know. You are part of something much bigger than you understand. You are blessed.

Awake my soul

There is a healthy craving to be had; a desire for nourishment to the soul.
Apart from God my taste buds dead; their pleasure in the foul.

One satisfying addiction exists to quench my thirsty heart;
of all that looks and feels and smells, faith grasps beyond its realm.

A safe obsession to hold my gaze, no danger in His care;
for He causes all things to work in harmony for my good.

Now good may seem a far-off thought when doubts and pains arise;
but the good He brings is good because He makes me like His Son.

Change this heart of stone, I cried; turn it into fleshy clay.
He heard and listened and came and bought and redeemed and restored and won.

One spark can hold a match to my eternal flame; the deepest longings of my soul fanned by His great Name.
Everywhere I try to look for fuel to satisfy; He gently prods the embers of grief to remind me of His love.

He can handle what I desire and all that I can fathom; He is a cistern that never runs dry despite my constant yearning.
To find the only true desire and feel the joy of abandon; there my soul feels the freedom it was made to encounter.

Oh joy of man's desiring, I find my rest in thee; and treasure every longing sense that begs me to return.
For in the moments of despair, then I know you're here; not to tempt and taunt and hurt, but awaken my heart to glory.

I was wrong

Faith.

For so long I got it wrong.  For so long I thought I didn't believe enough and that's why I wasn't getting what I wanted.  For so long I was a miserable Christian, feeling like I didn't measure up because my life wasn't turning out the way I had envisioned and that if I just could muster enough faith, God would grant me my wishes.  In my mind, God was the all-powerful, gracious genie who existed to serve me and make me happy.

And then finally when my faith was disappointed one too many times and when I was so unhappy and dissatisfied with my life that I thought maybe he didn't exist at all, I decide it:  maybe I was just concocting this idea of God in my mind and if I stopped thinking about Him and going to church and trying to read the Bible and live a "holy" life, God would cease to exist.  This "genie-God" who had failed to come through for me so many times would simply leave me alone and allow me to find something else to make me happy; something that would give me the freedom I longed for and the satisfaction of soul that let me rest from the constant craving of more...something...anything...

And I stopped.

Caring, believing, hoping, seeking, loving.  Genie-god died and I simply survived.  Life took some very drastic, fast, and furious turns towards chaos and one day I stopped again.  I noticed that I was one foot in the pit, one foot in the grave.  One more step and I would be gone and there would be no turning back.

And that's when He came.

In all His overwhelming love and senseless grace and pulled me up onto solid ground.  He gave me a new name and a new heart and a new song.

He showed me that faith is believing in His goodness, trustworthiness, righteousness, lovingkindness, mercy; believing in His character to come through in the good times and the bad; trusting in Him because you KNOW Him and He KNOWS you.  You can't have faith in someone you don't know...it would be stupid to place your life in the hands of a stranger.  Jesus is a person.  To have faith in Him is to know Him and believe that He is who He says He is and that He is true to His Word and that NO MATTER WHAT, He is still good.

When circumstances around me seem to point to His not loving me, I don't buy it because I know He died for me and so He will graciously give me all things (Rom. 8:32).  When my emotions betray me and make me feel abandoned by Him, I reject that and cling to His promise to be with me always, even to the very end of the age (Matt. 28:20).

Faith is NOT asking and hoping that He will grant my desires.

Faith IS believing He is my desire.

Faith is the blessed assurance of what is to come.  It is the conviction of the reality of Him and everything He has promised. (Heb.11:1).

Faith is our lifeline to the Faithful One (2 Tim. 2:13).

Do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord

“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him.  For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.”  Hebrews 12:5-6

I have been and continually am guilty of regarding God’s discipline lightly.  Brushing it off; outright ignoring; refusing to come to Him and work on the sin problem; trying to treat the “symptoms” instead of attacking the root of the issue; thinking that His consequences aren't real and that He doesn't really care enough about me to actually cause something devastating to happen to me as a result of my sin.

I was wrong.

As a child of God, sometimes coming to God with our pain can temporarily lead to more pain.  Avoiding Him, however, always, every time, without fail, leads to exponentially more severe consequences and acute pain.  God treats us as His children (Hebrews 12:7).  His discipline is meant to lovingly and gently correct and, eventually, lead us into peace and righteousness; it is meant to mature us into the image of His Son.  If we reject His discipline and choose to see Him as unloving, evil, or arbitrary, then He is forced to use more drastic means to get our attention and to lead us into a right perspective in our hearts towards Him. 

If my own child does something wrong, then comes to me to seek forgiveness and restoration, my response through correction, reteaching, and consequence will be far less severe than if he does something wrong then tries to cover up his actions, all the while having a complacent attitude towards me.  My desire is for him to DESIRE my approval; to want to do the right thing because He knows I love Him and I only set boundaries for him in order to protect him, boundaries that will ultimately lead to his good.  The way He comes to me after he has done something against me has EVERYTHING to do with the amount, type, and severity of correction he receives.  The deeper the issue, the more drastic the consequence needs to be in order to fully uproot the problem and grow good fruit in place of the bad.

One question you must ask yourself is can you sense the discipline of the Lord in your life?  If not, why not?  The Lord disciplines His kids.  You may be undergoing a season of less strenuous discipline than other times of your life, but you should sense it nonetheless.  He is always working on us, we never have a point where we've "arrived."  If you don't feel this inward pull towards Christlikeness, you should ask God why and measure your relationship with Him against His Word.

 “Whoever spares the road hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.” Proverbs 13:24

The Lord only disciplines those He loves.  His correction is meant to restore, teach, build up, bring us to a better place.  Whatever is going on in our live is meant to lead us AWAY from eternal destruction, even if it does lead temporarily to more pain.  We are being perfected, refined, and molded into the image of Jesus Christ.  The process is a long and sometimes painful one…we have a long way to go and there is much work to be done!  But God’s glory and our eternal home is at stake.  It is THE adventure of the Christian's life and we have the ultimate tour guide;).  Submitting to his discipline isn't always easy but the alternative is absolutely impossible.

Youth group doesn't last forever

I realize that mainly my close friends and family will be the ones (if any) who read this.  But I guess I am just wanting to purge my brain of the millions of thoughts that seem to be racing through it at every moment of every day, so please remember that I am writing mainly to and for my own therapeutic process.:)

Mark 4, The Parable of the Sower

Jesus explained the parable of the sower to his disciples like this, "The sower sows the word. And these are the ones along the path, where the word is sown: when they hear, Satan immediately comes and takes away the word that is sown in them. And these are the ones sown on rocky ground: the ones who, when they hear the word, immediately receive it with joy. And they have no root in themselves, but endure for a while; then, when tribulation or persecution arises on account of the word, immediately they fall away. And others are the ones sown among thorns. They are those who hear the word, but the cares of the world and the deceitfulness of riches and the desires for other things enter in and choke the word, and it proves unfruitful. But those that were sown on the good soil are the ones who hear the word and accept it and bear fruit, thirtyfold and sixtyfold and a hundredfold." (Mark 4:14-20 ESV)

Jesus says that in some who hear the word of God, the word will "prove unfruitful."  This does not mean that they didn't first hear it, get excited, go tell their friends and family, live in the emotions of their newly found discovery, go to church camp, get in a Bible study, start tithing, and think their life was completely and forever changed.  But what did Jesus say happened?  That 1. the cares of the world, 2. the deceitfulness of riches, and 3. the desires for other things enter in (these are the thorns from v. 7).  They choke out all excitement for God, dulling the hearer's senses to anything spiritual and decreasing their appetite for God.  Oh, I have bought into these lies before, and they are so subtle, so well-crafted, that we often don't see them as what they truly are...thorns choking the life out of us!  Some of these lies are:

• turning to God is not the solution to the problems I'm facing
• my "issues" are not spiritual ones, God isn't relevant to me right now
• I can compartmentalize my life into categories so that God stays separate from my emotions, my physical body, my thoughts, my desires
• having money and stuff feels better than seeking God now, so it must be what I need to focus on
• I don't have a desire to daily seek God so it must be His fault
• if I stop pursuing a relationship with God, then He will just disappear from my life, almost like He was a figment of my imagination.  
• God isn't fun, knowing Him is just hard work and not worth it

And the list could go on and on.

I would just like to say that if your beliefs and theology aren't tested, examined, studied, KNOWN, then they WILL NOT stand up against what this world throws at you.  Your desire for God WILL, without a doubt, be choked out by worldly cares, money, and desire for other things besides God.

Friends, it's easy to desire what we see, what is tangible and attainable in the here and now.  It's not as easy to eagerly desire what we cannot see, what we must wait for, and what we must persevere to attain.

I see so many people who were strong believers in the past, very active in high school youth group or were even Sunday School teachers, who now have put their Biblical foundation aside and embraced secular philosophies, worldly wisdom, and politically correct ideals.  Now don't get me wrong, I am all about the security of the believer and I believe that God holds His kids securely in His hand (John 10:28-29) and nothing can separate His children from His love in Christ (Rom. 8:38-39).  But I also believe that MANY people who think they knew Jesus at one time in their lives will be rejected by God when they die because they did not "do the will of [the] Father who is in heaven" (Matt. 7: 21).

Please hear what the Bible says:  it's not what you did with God's word yesterday that makes His word prove fruitful, it's what you did yesterday, what you do today, and what you will do tomorrow.  It all matters.  If you said a prayer when you were 8 years old, were baptized, and haven't talked to God since then, you should not feel like you know God.  That is a false theology you are buying into, not a Biblical one.  Sure, God knows everyone on the planet; but He has a special, intimate knowledge of His children (John 10:27-28).  True believers see God as their treasure (Matt. 13:44), their lifeline (John 14:6), the food they eat (John 6:48) and the water they drink (John 4:14),   It's the continued belief, the perseverance of the faith, that marks us as true believers.  Consider what the Bible says about perseverance:

• "For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised." (Heb. 10:36)
• "But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing." (James 1:25)
• "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."(2 Timothy 4:7)
• "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it." (1 Cor. 9:24)
• "But the one who endures to the end will be saved." (Matt. 24:13)

I am deeply saddened when I see people claiming to love the Jesus of the Bible then posting all kinds of non-Biblical ideas on Facebook and other social media.  It disturbs me so much to think that people I love feel a false sense of security that their eternal destination is settled because of one incident of calling on God many years ago.  I pray that the thorns choking the life-giving power out of Word of God in the people I love will be cut back with the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God; I pray that those who have known the Truth will accept it and be rooted and grounded in it so that they could withstand what the world and Satan throw their way; I pray.

Stinky shoes and tiny treasures

One of the best parts of every day for me is Elli showing me what treasure she's brought home for me from school. Usually it's something she finds on the playground, or sometimes a bead from the class art center, or (if I'm lucky) a picture she drew. Almost always, however, it's something very tiny. Yesterday she gasped as she remembered what she had brought me and ran to her shoes that she had taken off beside the door, took out the sole of one shoe, and retrieved a minuscule plastic decorative feather. It looks like it used to be blue but, judging by the faded color and general raggedy appearance, I'm assuming it's seen a fair share of winters on the elementary playground. I thanked her profusely, of course, laid the little feather down on the counter, and went about my busy afternoon, the feather seemingly forgotten. But, low and behold, I noticed it first thing this morning. I ALMOST swept it in my hand to bring to the trash can cause, let's be honest, how many tiny trinkets can one mom possibly keep up with? But I stopped. It dawned on me that one day, without warning, she will stop bringing me presents every day; that this hideous little feather could represent the last time her simple, child-like innocence spilled over on me in such a tangible way; that I am so grateful that she thinks about me still and wants to make me proud of her. So this time, the cute little piece of trash she collected for me will be taped in her baby book with a reminder jotted next to it of her sweet little heart that isn't jaded by worldly expectations or grown-up anxieties. And I'll cling to the goodness of my little daughter seeing a feather, thinking of her mommy, and doing the most natural thing that came to her: hiding it away in the safest spot she could think of until she was home again, which just so happened to be quite possibly the smelliest Dora-themed shoe in existence:)

Discipline

Anything worthwhile takes discipline. A masterpiece doesn't spring out of nothing. It is the result of a premeditated effort, struggling through tediousness, battling monotony, persevering despite tiredness or boredom or lack of fast results because you know the end result will be worth the pain of practice.
Oh how many things this principal can be applied to in my life!! Music, parenting, my relationship with my husband, my relationship with Jesus, cleaning, gardening, etc. Spontaneity has its place but without disciplined practice, spontaneity isn't even really possible.
When we are young, we don't understand how to look forward and see the end result of the hard work we're doing today. Child/adolescent brains do not have the capability to make decisions that take into consideration all the repercussions that today's choices may have, on themselves or on other people (it's due to the physical makeup of their brains, the 2 frontal lobes of the brain are not fully connected until adults reach their mid twenties, which is the place where decision-making is processed.) That is why the responsibility to make tough choices falls on the parent. It's a parent's job to protect their child from ruining the rest of their life by making wrong decisions while they are not yet fully capable of making them on their own. That is why parents are in charge of making sure their children do their homework, practice piano, stick with a friend during a hard time, read their Bibles, memorize Scripture, clean their room, eat their veggies. Parents make decisions FOR their kids while they can so that when the time comes and the kids have the capability of making decisions for themselves, they'll choose on their own what they already know so well and has given them the happiest results.

John Piper once said that it is possible for children to not have to "experiment" with sin in order to know fully that God's way is the best way, the way that leads to life and peace and joy.

Lord God, I pray that You help me model your discipline in my own life, in joy and thankfulness, so that my children will not ever want to depart from You. That they'll know the joy that comes from Your protection, which can only happen when we obey You; that they'll delight in your law and rest in the promises of Your holy Word, not buying into the lies from Satan that what the world offers is better than You. Father, teach me to discipline them now so that their choice to follow You later will be a much less difficult one than it could be.

Exposing the lie that sin is better than God.

We have an enemy. He is out to steal, kill, and destroy us. His tactics are to accuse, lie, and deceive us. He doesn't have the power of the truth on his side. He has to resort to lies. And his lies are not new or original. He's been putting out the same old half truths and lies since the garden of Eden. But he's convincing. He's persuasive. And his arguments can actually hold up...for a time.

There is a lie that he has used from the beginning: that sin is better than God. I have believed it time after time. Every time I give in to anger or resentment or depression or jealousy or lust or anxiety...I, in essence, decide that my own desire to be in control of my situation produces a better feeling or result than taking the "narrow road." The willingness to give in to sin's enticement is a result of a lack of belief in God. I have been there. So many times. Oh that I would truly believe that
God's love is better than life,
His word is sweeter than honey,
He delights over me with singing,
His precepts are right, rejoicing the heart,
He has given me everything I need through Jesus for life and godliness.

Anything that separates me from a closer relationship with Jesus is sin. ANYTHING. I want to hate sin. I want to despise the shame it brings in the presence of a holy God. I don't always. But I am fighting to see sin as God sees it; to trust that He has my best interest at heart and if he says "no," he's not trying to steal my happiness but give me deep, everlasting, non-circumstantial joy!

Anybody can love when it's easy.

Love is not easy. Giving and receiving it means sacrifice. Every. Time.

I've heard that "I love you" means to accept people as who they are without trying to change them. I agree that I alone cannot change the people I love. But "I love you" does not mean seeing the people you love doing, thinking, or feeling self-destructive things and leaving them "as they are." I should never attempt to force, coerce, or manipulate someone to change. But I can show them God's standard and God's love, point them to the One who CAN produce change in them. If I am doing, saying, or acting ways that are bad for me, that lead me away from God (who is the Source of everything good), I hope and pray someone loves me enough to help me, to lovingly point out what they see as destructive, and to help me find the strength to seek God's healing.

The willingness to be corrected by others in order to become like Jesus (that is to be better able to be loving toward others) is called HUMILITY. Without humility, the sanctification process of the believer completely halts.

The willingness to confront others in truth, humility, and gentleness in order to lead them to Jesus (that is to be better able to be in a more loving, healthy, effective relationship with Jesus) is called LOVE. Only humble love allows us to see the sin, destructiveness, bad habits, annoying idiosyncrasies, and character flaws of the people around us and not criticize, but restore;
not judge, but empathize;
not look down on, but bow low to serve;
not add to their weight, but stoop underneath and lift them up.

"Love your neighbor as yourself" sums it up. I love myself enough to hope that I become better over time. Only a self-absorbed, self-focused, self-loathing person would be so satisfied with everything about himself that he would never want to change, grow, develop, mature. Is it wrong or selfish to hope for my husband, family, children, friends, neighbors, church family the same things that I hope for myself for? No! That is what love it, granted the things you want for yourself are good, healthy, God-glorifying things.

The author of Hebrews warns us to not become "dull of hearing"(5:1), to not be ok with stagnating in our faith but to go on to maturity (6:1), to desire to be mature in the deeper things of the faith (6:11).

In our "loving" society, where we are pushed to tolerate, accept, love people where they are, and not attempt to enhance anyone's life with knowledge of the truth. I believe real love has been replaced with a watered-down, fake, self-protecting version. Even among the church, this view has penetrated, transforming our effectiveness in being able to share the gospel with others and our effectiveness at being transformed ourselves by the Word and correction from the people in our lives.

Love is not easy. Giving and receiving it means sacrifice. Every. Time.

Anyone can love when it's easy. But when the going gets tough and you can keep on giving, keep on forgiving, keep on meeting people where they are, keep on being willing to hear correction with "sharp ears," that's where God's supernatural love is displayed. That's when His power takes over. That's the moment we choose to fight the natural desire to be angry or push away or turn on others or pout or complain or deny.

"When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love." (1 Corinthians 13:11-13 ESV)

Home

Jesus, precious Jesus. Sometimes I just can't wait to meet You.
Sometimes the journey of "faith not sight" seems like it will never end. I struggle with longing to be home with Jesus to the point of becoming an ineffective, miserable, place-filler at His table. Paul said it was better for him if he was to leave and go home but, for the sake of his people, God had chosen to leave him on earth(Phil. 1:23-24). It was "necessary" for him to be here.
To be here means that God has a purpose for our lives. That, in of itself, can be my motivation to be content, even joyful, in my current circumstances. We have a better home but not yet. Today we have this promise: "Blessed are those who have not seen me and yet have believed"(John 20:29).

Treasure

If someone had a treasure worth more than anything this world had ever seen or ever would see again, it would never run out, they were already enjoying the spoils of their find, and they possessed a map that would lead anyone who would follow it to that same treasure, would you consider it loving or unloving for that person to try to share the map with you?  Would you say, “I can’t believe you are trying to force your opinions on me,” or “I’ve seen this map a million times before and don’t understand why you expect me to be willing to look at it again,” or “It’s your choice if you want to be rich beyond your wildest dreams but don’t try to get me to enjoy your riches with you.”  I don’t think so.

You’d be hurt and almost certainly mad if they were unwilling to share.  It’s one thing to have a treasure; but to know that treasure NEVER becomes depleted, in fact, it multiplies with the more people who desire, to not be asked to share in that would be a horrific insult.  For the treasure-holder to think, “I’m respecting your privacy so I’ll keep this treasure to myself,” would feel like they don’t really care about you at all.  Even if bringing up the topic of the treasure risked their relationship with you, would it not devalue the treasure itself if they didn’t see it as worth the risk?  In any case, any person with a never-ending, priceless treasure would be considered greedy and selfish and definitely the worst friend in the world if they kept it a secret, purposefully withholding information about how you could share the wealth.  

Jesus says the kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in a field.  The one who discovers it is so full of joy that he sells everything else he owns so he is able to go buy the field where the treasure is buried.

If a person who has the treasure offers the map to you…please try not to be offended.  The treasure wouldn’t be treasure at all if it wasn’t potentially worth more to you than your temporary discomfort